Men are from Mars, women from Venus – how much truth is there in this relatively comedic and extreme statement?
Well, there are some fundamental differences between the sexes and this follows through to the way they handle the dating game also. Men tend to be a little more relaxed in their approach to dating than girls. The ladies for example will spend time checking out the date in detail. The venue, are they going for drinks and a meal or just drinks? What should she order to drink – see what he orders first maybe – you get the gist, she takes it more seriously and reads a lot more into things.
Analysing text messages and phone calls from the guy, the girl will often share every element and aspect of the dating game with her girlfriends for a second opinion and moral support. This of course adds pressure throughout the entire process for the girl. The ongoing reporting and updates to what is by now most likely a WhatsApp group. But they enjoy it so let them get on with it.
The guy however will turn up in his casual clothes and his first thoughts of what to drink will be when he arrives at the bar. Taking things more in their stride perhaps, guys will not tend to over analyse situations. The guy may have told his best mate that he is going on a date but that’s probably about it, and feedback will not be required until they next meet down the pub, when a casual ‘how did it go’ will suffice. This does raise an issue potentially though, as men generally need things spelling out very clearly to them. As men do not generally tend to over analyze situations then a very clear message from the girl simply stating that she would like to see him again is all that it takes for things to then progress.
Women will generally hang on every word during a date and try to analyse what the guy is actually saying and meaning with his responses. The guy doesn’t need to bother with this as he will just ask more questions if interested to get to where he wants to be.
In these overly politically correct times, manners can be hard to get right. Opening doors, buying the first drink, indeed maybe buying all of the drinks. But the reality is that most women actually do respect traditional values and quite like the man to take the lead. It is easy for the man to assess pretty quickly how dominant his role should potentially be judged by the responses that he receives from the lady.
This issue also brings up one major difference between guys and girls when dating. Guys see the whole dating process as achieving a goal. Men are goal focused and will often do whatever they need to achieve this goal. To that end many guys will date two girls in the early stages. This is not seen as disrespectful by them, but simply a way of not ‘putting all of their eggs into one basket’ and suffering the personal humility of rejection. As one of these dates becomes more dominant and important then the other will usually be cast aside.
What many guys will find is that women want a second date arranging as quickly as possible. Subconsciously they may fear that the guy is on the prowl, searching through a number of partners to find the right one and, if she is interested in the guy she will push harder to secure a second date. That means commitment guys – something that many are scared of at this early stage.
Quite clearly there are a number of fundamental differences between men and women and the way that they carry out the dating game. Both sexes have the same aim at heart, it’s just that both have a different way of trying to get there.
Dating has stood the test of time so there should be no real concerns at these nuances. Embrace them, be sympathetic where appropriate and things should turn out just fine.